It’s My Penis and Hillary Can’t Have It !

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Hillary Clinton is the progressive liberal front runner in the Democrat’s Party. Already liberal women are salivating to wage war against men. So bring on this fight and let Hillary lead you into this war against us men and our terrible swift swords.

I’m an over fifty conservative and I won’t back down or fear your liberal castrations. We have slogans already in our trick-bag.

“Fifty-Foreskin or Fight!”

“Tip Of The Male Canoe And Ted Cruz Too.”

“Erections This Election!”

“More Poling in the Poling Booth!”

“Get Christie Love”

This Country had to endure a lame Beer Summit on race relations at the Whitehouse after electing the first black president, and I do not think this country can bare a Penis Summit if Hillary is elected. We know about George Washington’s wooden teeth and John Kennedy’s affairs that even the Secret Service gave him the code name “Lancer.” Actually Lancelot may have been more descriptive. 

But let us not forget that she is the wife of the only President whose penis was described in full detail in court testimony.


A small, abnormally upwardly curved penis that Hillary hung her wet clothes on during their early days together in Hope, Arkansas. Do you think she will be inclusive of the male penis after her husband got nineteen year old Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress soiled under a desk in the Oval Office?

She had trouble controlling Bill’s penis when he was Governor. Remember the Jennifer Flowers’ accusations that almost derailed Bill’s chance at the Presidency? Hillary saved him on a 60 Minutes’ interview and made that famous statement that she doesn’t stay at home baking cookies or acting like Tammy Wynette standing by her man. No one could stand by Bill without getting poked.

Bill Clinton lied about his use of his penis. “It depends what is, is.”

Even “monica” went from a noun to a verb.

So do you really think my penis will be safe in her hands after all that? Don’t forget Obama-care was really Hillary-care. Liberals have gotten into the most private areas of your life. What difference does it make now? Everything.

As for her as Secretary of State, and her “reset” in relations with Russia, how has that worked out? Look Hillary, I can see Putin’s penis in the Ukraine from Alaska.

From the moment a male is born, mother’s give our penises cute names like, “Tinker-Toy.” If they have daughters, they call it a vagina. They give a vagina the marketing status of a Mercedes Benz over a Kia.  

In liberal America our penis has lost all respect and instead of the days when Roman girls danced around shafts of stone for fertility rituals, American girls now dance around turkey basters.

It is no wonder the cultural revolution of male potency is about to explode. These wimpy, flaccid liberal leaders like Obama, Reid, Kerry, Pelosi, Biden, O’Malley, Carter, Gore, or Clintons etc., have sent America into erectile dysfunction.

I named my penis “Little Ronnie” during the Reagan Years. Back then it was morning in America. A new dawn. It was an economic boom and a proud time for our Country after the limp Carter years.

It is high noon in America, and today I put a cowboy hat and a two gun holster on my penis and Hillary can’t have it.


Categories: Humor, Life, Observations, People, Political Satire

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