The Jock And The Judge: Annapolis’ New Celebrity Royalty.


We all know the jock, Maryland’s favorite son, Baltimore Orioles’ great “The Iron Man” Cal Ripken Jr.

When Ripken got his divorce following 30 years of marriage, put his $12 million dollar home in Reisterstown, with a baseball diamond on the market, he moved
to Annapolis.

There is a lot of wealth here, but now celebrity, or famous people are arriving and the true nature of newspapers, table talk and gossiping has begun.

Every newspaper throughout Maryland had a story about who Ripken is dating, and some with pictures of the couple seen at various places like an Orioles’ game. I like hearing about the rich, and well-to-do, famous, their lives, and all these media outlets sell better with these “people stories.”

Obviously most of us do like to read and hear about it. It is also healthy and a diversion from other boring issues we get tired of hearing in these media outlets.

Recently I got a plantar-wart on the bottom of my foot and had to see if I could get something at CVS to freeze it off. There were plenty of magazines on the racks devoted to gossip.

Nobody cares to hear gossip about a working class guy like myself, who just got a painful plantar-wart on the bottom of his foot.

I am sure you will never see the headline in The Annapolis Capital; “El Brookman Has a Plantar Wart.”

Now back to what you really want to read about. Not everybody knows the judge, but here she comes!


Cal has hit a homer with this one, Annapolis Circuit Court Judge Laura Kiessling.

The judge was only known to me as the sexy judge I occasionally saw when I had to be at the courthouse. Nothing is more attractive than beauty and brains.

I was married back then had a passing thought at the court house, much like middle age Tom Ewell did with Marilyn Monroe in the movie The Seven Year Itch.

Don’t misunderstand me, she’s physically no Monroe, but Monroe never was the judge of any court cases as far as I know either.

Like the movie, I’m Ewell, walking with the judge on a hot August night in Annapolis and she pauses on a stream grate and the forceful air is blowing up her black robe. I know, I don’t know of any stream grate in Annapolis.

If I had a Magazine in Annapolis, I would make sure this month’s cover would picture a woman judge in her black robes being blown up just like they did to hype The Seven Year Itch back in in the fifties.

Then a day came where I was getting my divorce and I had to go before her and I remembered that passing thought and I figured it was the typical irony that occurs in my life.

She walked in wearing her black robe and long hair flowing past her shoulders.  She had a commanding confident nature and seemed to sway inside the loose, undefined garment creating her own definition of attractiveness. I know woman have their one sexy, tight, black dress, but not many have the brains or physical attributes to make a black, loose robe sexy.

My divorce proceedings bored me so my mind wondered. If these thoughts were known at the time and read out loud by the court stenographer, I’m sure everyone would have been entertained, and I am sure my face would blush a beet red.

So now that Ripken is dating her, I’ve moved on. There are plenty of smart, beautiful women in Annapolis with brains.

My mind has moved on to a MIT and Harvard grad, sexy, attractive Annapolis plastic surgeon, and spa owner named Dr. Kelly Sullivan. Her commercials are a combination of listing her brainiac degrees while a wind machine is blowing her blond hair in slow motion as she smiles and poses in different positions like a runway model.

Her commercials are one, big, in-your-face beauty and brains attractiveness that took a manatee sized ego and confidence to successfully pull off.

I’m sure she is bringing lots of business from the well-to-do in Annapolis.

Wonder how much she will charge to remove the Plantar Wart on the bottom of my foot?





Categories: Family, Humor, Life, Observations, People, Places

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