If you bought your girlfriend or wife the 4 foot Teddy Bear that has been flooding the Television channels as the perfect gift ….. It is arriving at her place by Fed Ex today and don’t ever expect to get laid by her again. Matter of fact, just leave the state and start a new life with a new identity. It is too late to stop delivery now. What the hell were you thinking?
And if you really outdid yourself and sent it to her office for all her co-workers and bosses to see her carrying this big hunk of stuffed carnival crap to her car, find a solid beam in your basement and hang yourself.
Happy Valentine’s Day!