Kim K’s Rear End Explodes….Oh The Humanity !

artwork_imagesI get it. 1.3 billion dollars and the European Space Agency drops a probe on a comet. I get it. Celebrity Kim Kardashian needed to make some coin and showed herself naked and the photographer drops a champagne glass on her rear end.  No coincidence these two events happened at the same time. Hopefully, once everyone was finished looking at the balancing act of a champagne glass, which is not art nor ever will it be enshrined like what artist Andy Warhol did for Marylyn Monroe, they moved on to looking at the craters of the comet. Wonder how many craters on Kim K were photo-shopped?

The ESA responded it will collect data, measure temperature on this ball of ice so that they can determine how old it is and give us some idea of how the universe was formed. Here in America we could have done the same thing and gotten those answers with a purchase of a nine dollar rectal thermometer and a buck naked Joni Ernst.

Wait…. Did The EL just say Joni Ernst? Yes I did, I thought of Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi, but once I heard Joni Ernst’s most annoying laugh, I want to do everything possible to keep her frowning. I may even switch to being a Democrat. Why shouldn’t I? Republicans have done nothing to promote the EL. Maybe the Democrats will adopt the EL now that their power seems to be receding into the banks of the Potomac. Unfortunately Clinton’s and Pelosi’s laugh is a horror as well. 

Ernst’s laugh is more annoying than Woody Woodpecker.

I have never been scared of a laugh before, but I thought the pig castration thing was cute and creative, but now add her laugh to it, and something demonic is coming to Washington D.C.

Remember the good old days Americans had all the answers? Like how Velcro worked and for a whole decade that sound made you proud about the progression of man that you no longer had to teach a kid to tie their shoes?

One small step and a giant leap for mankind kind of stuff? Getting the crew of Apollo 13 back by sling shooting them around the moon and the miracles of duck-tape. Using funnels to pour beer faster into your esophagus.  American ingenuity had always been our brand.

What ever happened to the people who slept in pyramids believing it was a cure for everything from hemorrhoids, to sharpening razor blades and staying young.

Is that what Americans been doing all these years? Did they go to sleep under a pyramid and lose our brand identity?

Kim Kardashian’s rear cheeks are the size of Jupiter, but at what point did the American brand turn to being all about the bass?

Before Facebook, we could look at naked women in the old days of Playboy and found articles and thoughts by writers and wits among the areolas. True intellectual men taught many a young lad that if you wanted to see naked women you were going to be forced to read about what Truman Capote, Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Albert Brooks, and Bill Buckley were saying. Young lad, if you want to check out naked women, you will be checking out Hunter Thompson, Allen Ginsburg, poets and playwrights no matter the political persuasion.

Women now take selfies and porn is so accessible on the internet. It really has no entertainment value or intellectual stimulation. It does not have Bob Dylan or Charles Bukowski on the next page. Man cannot live by breast and ass alone. Well, actually babies could live for some time on breast alone, but I digress. Women and their “assets” have become boring. Maybe they should send a poem first and then the selfies to develop the male and female brain.

If women want better approaches to their sexuality, then start making sex objects out of writers who can come up with better lines than rappers.  Don’t know if it would change anything, but I thought I would plug writers becoming sex objects. I’m not afraid of being objectified. Obviously there is good money in it.

As for Kardashian, everything is just a brand and marketing that brand. Hope strings are added to it and floated at this month’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

The releasing of these pictures, and the first landing on a comet at the same time is not a coincidence. Both I guess were a success. What if Kim farted under those hot photography lights and set the place on fire. It would have been our modern day Hindenburg disaster. Oh the humanity.

Americans have lost the space race, and their ingenuity brand, but hey, we sure know how to show our ass.

 

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Categories: Humor, Observations, People, Political Satire, Politics

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1 reply

  1. I actually laughed. Funny piece.

    Liked by 1 person

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