ISIS TO SELL HEADS ON EBAY AFTER BUSH ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE

safe_imageWO562IR0In a rear interview, ISIS leader, Abu Bakr al Baghdadi has announced his plans to sell American heads on EBAY at “exorbitant prices.”

This comes after former President George W. Bush tagged him in an “Ice Bucket Challenge.”

Secretary of State, John Kerry said; “Prices for the heads wouldn’t be so high if this never happened. Clearly this is Bush’s fault.”

Baghdadi, also known as “Big Dadi,” claims his group of rebels can’t shock Americans or the press anymore by just hacking heads off and had to resort to selling them at high prices on EBAY.

“Americans are only shocked and terrorized over the high prices of anything,” Baghdadi said while fiddling with his big, gold, Rolex watch like Chuck Woolery did on the TV program, The Love Connection.

Turns out Baghdadi is a huge Chuck Woolery fan and does a great impression of him holding two fingers up, twisting them back and forth, saying; “We will be right back in two and two.”

“I love that show,” Baghdadi claimed, “Especially when the dates go bad.”

Baghdadi inferred that American journalist would rather take a “cushy” job in Ferguson, Missouri, and lamented they only see “free-lancers” hanging around the desert now. “My days are getting tough here, and wish we had a better selection of heads to whack-off.”

“We are training some of our people and making them study and become like Al Sharpton to get us some attention here, and the only thing left is to get some American suits for them to wear,” Baghdadi said. “Getting on MSNBC will be no problem for us, so we got that covered.”

The ISIS leader said he doesn’t want to end up being the leader of the “WASWAS.”

Baghdadi’s mood perked up when talking about the Caliph or Caliphate and thinking about the Ice Bucket Challenge and whom he would tag.

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Categories: Humor, Political Satire, Politics

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1 reply

  1. “Americans are only shocked and terrorized over the high prices of anything,”
    Definitely truth in that.
    I loved the reference to Chuck Woolery and the WASWAS gag.

    Like

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