Johnny Depp and Amber Heard


     So Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are engaged. I didn’t care, until I started reading comments from women about it.

First came the comments about their ages; he’s 50, and she is 27.

“OMG…Like YUCK !!!!”

“He’s old enough to be her father.”

“Daddy Issues.”

“Has he no dignity?”

“Cradle Robber!”

“In ten years he’ll be 70 and she 47….Wow!”

     70 and 47? No fooling? You must have a math degree from MIT to do that equation? Plenty of men in their 50’s look damn handsome and are far more interesting than a 30 year old man, me being one of them. But if I was in movies, that would increase my good looks and appeal by 216 %. I went to MIT and can do my own math.

     Why do women act so intellectually superior and judgmental? Plenty of older women are doing the same thing. This has been going on for ages. Well, maybe not ages but at least since 1968 when Dustin Hoffman uttered the words; “Mrs. Robinson, you are trying to seduce me.”

     Why is the word “Yuck” thrown in by younger women? “Yuck” is not a word that describes Johnny Depp. Frankly, us handsome, non-movie star older men don’t date anyone who uses the word “yuck.” Your brain hasn’t exited puberty yet.

     Then the other kind of comment appeared.

“How could he leave his woman of 14 years who gave birth to his three children?”

     Ladies, here is your wake-up call.  How can you leave a man whose thousands of tiny sperms ran uphill through your Grand Canyon, all sacrificed and left for dead, just for that one treasured blessings of his to make it to Vegas, play the Wheel of Fortune slot machine, and hit the jackpot?

     As much as you want to use what has happened to your vagina, and what came out of it as your reason for him staying with you, the fact is, it is not. If you want some kind of payback, once you see your marriage is failing, or you think he is having an affair with a younger woman, start making your husband drink 3 glasses of milk a day. Then, in 6 months when he develops a kidney stone just before leaving you for that younger woman, you will take great pleasure as that tiny spiked ball is traveling through the sensitive areas of his urethra before being expelled through his penis. Younger women can’t stand a man who is in the fetal position and rolling on the floor crying for a morphine drip.That is the only way to ever use the child birth card.

     I know ladies, it makes you feel insecure when an older man is with a younger woman, but men feel the same way. What is the true power of a good sex life is intimacy. Something that involves 75 % of the brain, 15% of the penis and 10 % of you laying back making a grocery list for the week while saying; “Right there. Don’t stop. Right there.”

     It’s not easy to have or find real intimacy with someone. That soul and heart connection. Age doesn’t matter. Sometimes it fades even with a young woman that looks like Amber Heard or an older man that looks like Johnny Depp. Quit judging and pour your man a glass of milk.





Categories: Humor, Life, Observations, People

Tags: , , , , , , ,

1 reply

  1. My reaction is simply jealousy. You took those harpies to task and I applaud you.


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